RETURNING TO YOUR HEART
W/ CHRIS MARHEFKA
Chris facilitates transformation by opening hearts, expanding minds, and giving permission to be our most authentic self. He is the CEO of Training Camp for the Soul. He's served 2000 clients in his 10 years as a coach.
"I just felt a calling to support guys in giving them the confidence, the permission, and also connecting them back to what really was an alignment for them."
"The experience that a man has in the world is oftentimes very different than the experience that a woman has in the world. And they both come with challenges. They both have different challenges that they're overcoming. And so it's not it's not the self that's really the problem. It's all the things that are in the way of coming back to the self."
FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Alright guys welcome to the How do you Health? podcast It's Friday it's our first Friday shooting over at native hostel live at the How do you help fest? Well, for those of you that are live so this is Facebook Live on this one go up so that one's going live right now and then that one's going to get to this get clipped all over the time. Beautiful and you know people people fucking love that shit so get me here is live right now. Facebook
Chris Marfheka 0:27
Yeah so No,
Chris Marfheka 0:29
All you want to talk about all the different things but we have Chris Murphy aka Marhefka, Marhefka, Marhefka, and that's awesome. Where is that from? By the way? Check.
Chris Marfheka 0:40
Dude, it's Yeah, awesome country.
Chris Marfheka 0:43
I want to hear your story we can get into later, buddy.
Oh, yeah. And he's the CEO of training camp for the soul and live with lead. Live in leap.
Chris Marfheka 0:53
Live India and lead. Yeah.
And so that so Chris, you've been a friend of ours for a while now. I forget if we met at the yoga house, which is one of our friends where we met somewhere else first.
Chris Marfheka 1:07
We initially met at paleo effects effects. Yeah. Friends of Bledsoe. Like likes, right. Couple years ago. Yeah, it
Jon Mendoza 1:15
was two years ago. Yeah.
Chris Marfheka 1:19
That's right. Jump today.
Jon Mendoza 1:21
I saw you again. And I was like,
Chris Marfheka 1:26
I wore it that night.
Jon Mendoza 1:31
Know, I said, is that a is that England and Bledsoe you're like, yeah, we get that crew for paleo. Okay, I thought you look real. Yeah. And I was really impressed with we were talking about this. So y'all came in with the lift and lifted athletes. It was there was a bunch of y'all who were like, basically kind of new to the game. And at that time, I remember talking to blood. So for people who are listening Mike blood, so he, I guess him in England just started that thing. So that was all he was like, kind of first time to get together. Yeah,
Chris Marfheka 2:03
yeah. I that day. I was actually representing training camp for the soul that week. I had just taken over running the show there. And but they were there. And they were just watching like that day like they
did right. Because they had just also sold the other company. Yeah, like that. Yeah, they're doing this now. Yeah.
Jon Mendoza 2:21
So it's cool. Because what we basically did is we took care of all the staff. Yeah, the shots
Chris Marfheka 2:26
and I remember, I was dosed up that we
Jon Mendoza 2:28
met us. Yes, there was the last day all the jumpsuits. And then so like, like 10 or 12. Y'all came in eventually, even a couple females, like all got the shots. And it was like, Oh, that's really cool. And all y'all were really cool cats and everything. Fast forward. Two years later, we meet up about three months ago now. Is it? Is it
Chris Marfheka 2:48
something like that? I've been here since around July?
Yeah. Yeah. Wait, is that so in town right now?
Chris Marfheka 2:52
Uh, he will be he's coming from my retreat next week.
Jon Mendoza 2:55
Yes. So so you're you're doing retreats here. I remember Danny, you know, spoke again, you're like, yeah, I'm doing tons of retreats, like, all over the place. And you got that huge men's retreat next week? In fact, right. What's that about?
Chris Marfheka 3:07
Yeah, so this actually came on this year. And what I was just very, very called to do is support a lot of the leaders in my circle. So I, I have the very grateful to hang out with a lot of cool people, cool, interesting people who are doing a lot of cool shit. And what I saw was, especially this year, like, when things started getting weird, I saw a lot of really, like, powerful voices, that were genuinely speaking their truth. They were, they were speaking from their heart. Like they were really like talking about their message. And they were just getting blasted. Like there was a lot of weird while they're still it's still weird time where if you're speaking out on certain things, and people disagree with it, there's like this, this crazy world where people's messages are just getting silenced. And so there was there was like a in the in the closer knit conversations. There was a lot of concern around. It was more about man, I really want to show up and share my gift. But I'm scared. Like, I'm scared what people will say like, it's a weird time right now, especially being a man especially. And, you know, I just felt a lot of I felt a calling to support guys and giving them the confidence, the permission, and also connecting them back to what really was in alignment for them. Because what happens is, is we're constantly flooded with influences in the external world. And that affects how we show up even if we don't know it. And it starts like things start dropping in and we start maybe shifting the way we speak a little bit or we start shifting the way that we act. And what happens is we get out of alignment with ourself out of our core and so The whole purpose of this retreat is to bring men back to that back to their center back to their core back to alignment. And then Then and only then how to show up in the world, how to show up with their partners with their communities, with their businesses. And it was the name came because like, we're literally learning how to live in a new world, and now lead in a new world as well, because a lot of things are changing. And so a lot of the old, the old ways of doing things are really falling away, or they're breaking. And so it started as a simple gathering a mastermind, if you will, to, to, to discuss, like, how do we live in this new new thing that's ever changing, and every moment, and it was incredibly positive? And so we've been running a couple of them this year, and we have one in Austin next week. So we've got 20 guys coming down and spending the whole week with them.
That's awesome. No, no, I want to get into that message, or that training is different would you say? And I'll explain why I'm asking this for mail than it is for female. I'm asking that, because we've had a lot of guests on our podcasts that are females, and they also talk about connecting with yourself and with your body. And it's it just seems like it's a different message, whether that be true or not. And maybe it feels different to me. But But the idea is that like, yes, we are living in a new world, but it always felt like for like, whenever I try to do self growth for males, when I was growing up, it used to always be like, well, this is how you run your business. Yeah, it was never really about like myself, although I have heard, like people like is, once again, in the in the feminine world, it was always more about like the heart and like the body. And for the masculine is more about like, this is how you run your business. This is how you hack that you should sleep more because like you'll be more productive here and create more profits, you know, for sure,
Chris Marfheka 6:59
for sure. And so the, the, the process to come back to self come back to your heart is the same for men and women like the way in which we all do it, we all do it the same way. The difference is, the experience that a man has in the world is oftentimes very different than the experience that a woman has in the world. And they both come with challenges. They both have different challenges that they're overcoming. And so it's not it's not the self, that's really the problem. It's all the things that are in the way of coming back to the self. And so a man has more has, has more of he's oftentimes raised in like you shared like this, like competitive world, where it starts in sports than it leads to competitive business. And it's all about this like doing and like fighting and scarcity. And what's really interesting, actually, is that a lot of our women are starting to be raised in that as well. Yeah, and so our world is just generally very masculine, but it's a very unhealthy masculine, it's like step on everyone else to get yours. And like the only way to get ahead is to like, like, use people and and use resources of the earth. And so that's a like a very unhealthy masculine approach. And so what's happening now is like, even though I'm doing work with men, a lot of the work that we are doing is actually healing their relationship to the feminine, which more is more of like the felt sense. It's more of like you said, like, the emotions and being more in tune with yourself in the flows of, of the world. And what's interesting is, I did a lot of this work myself and, and what I noticed was, as I was doing this work, I was doing a lot of traveling. And while we live in such a masculine world here in the United States, there's a lot of other countries that aren't that way at all. They actually are really balanced. Or like South America is honestly very feminine. They're much more in tune with nature, they're much more in tune with their environment, a lot slower of a life. It's like there's it's okay to siesta. It's okay to rest. It's okay to have these ebbs and flows and seasons of life. But like, here, I mean, I don't know about you guys, but I was raised to like, go and like go hard. And so I spent, I spent a decade in competitive athletics beat my body down then I spent a decade in competitive business, putting my mind and my like, my body down again in a different way. And I, for me, personally, I got to the top of that ladder where I had checked all the boxes, and I was broken, and I was hurting and I wasn't fulfilled and I was like shit, there's got to be something more. I was like, there's got to be something more than this, like significance and money because I had both of those things. And I was still like, I was still feeling empty. And that's like when I started to go more into Self and more back coming back to my heart figuring out like, what I actually wanted, what I wanted to share with the world. And yeah, that that process is is one that I think a lot of people are starting to see right now. Because the way to growth is chaos, the way to growth is pain or discomfort. And so there's enough people in discomfort right now. And things are changing. There's chaos. And so a lot of people are starting to question like, simple ones, like, Oh, we actually don't need to go into the office for 40 hours a week and sit at this desk and like, do this weird routine that we just all, but like many, not all of us. But there's just this routine that a lot of people buy into. And so what I do is, and I trigger a lot of people because of this, is I encourage people to question everything, like question what you're doing right now question who you are, like, all these, all these, all this language that we use around ourselves of like, I am this, like, Oh, I'm a night owl. I'm a procrastinator. I'm a people pleaser, I'm this. And like, if I cut you open, I wouldn't see any of those things. That's not actually who you are. It's just the behaviors which you learned to portray. And all that's learned. It's all learned behavior. And so if it's, if it's learned, can be unlearned, it can be unlearn and relearn something else. And that's exactly what I do for people is like, I bring them to all the awareness of all the things that they're doing and be like, hey, do you like this? And they're like, Yeah, I like that. Okay, keep that. Do you like this? No. Okay, let's look at it. Where did this come from? Like, how do we shift this? And? Yeah, that's, uh, yeah, it's it's very powerful work, because it's different than a lot of the work that people are doing, which is the thinking through of the problems. It's thinking through how do I get more? How do I get more efficient? Or how do I become a better communicator, and all those are really useful.
And there's a lot of great programs and things out there to get better in the mind. But what's happening is that when you're not actually conscious, which the research says between most people between 90 and 98%, of their waking day, they're actually operating from the unconscious level. And so when you're not actually conscious, what's running the show, your programming your patterns, your conditioned beliefs, and so I teach people how to shift those. Because if you're conscious all the time, great, like, I don't know, any enlightened beings that are just like conscious all the time. And they slip into things like ah, like, Man, that's part of how you realize you're conscious, exactly catching myself, keep catching myself, you come back. And that's very useful. And that is like, as you grow, that's the process to become aware of the things that you're unconscious to. And so the more you're in consciousness, the more you can be aware of those things. And so, but what's great is like, just like learning how to walk, if you had to learn how to walk every morning, when you got out of bed, you'd be so inefficient, and you would get nothing done, you'd be like, Okay, I have to learn to put this foot forward, and then this foot forward, and there's like this, like thinking through it process. Now we just program how to walk. And like, none of us think about it anymore. The way we think the way we feel the way we act, the way we speak, are all programmed. And so it's like, oh, when someone says this to me, I just respond. And like when this happens, I do this, when this happens, I do this, and all of that is just like this series of like, a computer program.
Jon Mendoza 13:36
Yep. Yeah. And if anyone was following all of that, right there, what you just drew, was probably about a year or twos worth of like actual mindset, adaptation and challenges to yourself. And it's really interesting, because you, you shortened in such a way to where most people, how are we looking over there?
Chris Marfheka 13:59
So Carly bola, is it? A little bit.
Jon Mendoza 14:04
Okay. Slow down. All right. Well, let me tend to that. That's interesting. Huh? All right. Cool. All right. Well, let me step back.
Chris Marfheka 14:16
For the process. Yeah,
that's part of the process. All good. And this is how I react. Yeah. That's funny. That's great. Well, it's, it's interesting, right? Because I'd like to talk about tools. I know that journaling is a huge one. Last night, or yesterday, or this morning, I wrote about something that happened yesterday. Where where I was like, Oh, yeah, so I was writing this, like, it's interesting because I was getting frustrated because of this. And, and then I and then I was seeking attention at this moment. And, and then I was like, well, then I was working with someone else the other day, and that came up again. So that must be a pattern, right? And so then it's like, Okay, so then I you know, sat down to meditate is like Okay, so we're Does that come from and why? And all this other stuff? And most of it, most of it comes from like, what you learn when you're first what, six years? Yes, six or seven years? Yeah. So, and that's why like childhood trauma is always talked about these days. Right? And because it's important, right, like how important
Chris Marfheka 15:18
and it's not just the the trauma that's like what people would call a big t trauma or objective trauma, like sexual abuse, physical abuse, verbal like accidents, like yeah, that's, that's definitely trauma for sure. And that affects people. But there's also really small things. A trauma is just anything that affects like homeostasis, like your, your basic state, and then it changes it. So like, for me, I have a really interesting story that explains like how simple and silly something can be and why our logical mind can't actually solve the problems of our childhood traumas. Because our adult mind wasn't even there. Our rational mind doesn't come on, like you said, till, like seven or eight years old. And so a child isn't thinking like you and I are thinking right now with our logic. Yeah.
And so I was like, now I understand why my dad did that. Yeah, exactly. But like, as a four year old, I probably know where
Chris Marfheka 16:20
you're like, What the hell's happening, like, you're just making sense of the world. And so things like journaling. What's really awesome about journaling, and I encourage everyone to, to journal is because it, it takes the stories that are going on your head, and they are stories, they're just fucking your own stories that you're making up. All these things that are happening. And they get them onto paper, which makes them outside of yourself. So when they're in you, many people relate to them as if they are them, like I am my thoughts. Correct. But when you put them on paper and you start reading them, you actually there's like, one step, you're now one step away, you're like, Oh, it's not actually my thoughts anymore. It's now this thing that I'm reading on paper, and it feels outside of myself. And that's the moment where you can have awareness to like, Oh, these things aren't actually me.
Yeah. It's great. What's interesting the other day, I just like to share personal stories, too, because I think people can connect with them too. But the other was it last week, I was, uh, it was like Thanksgiving or something like that I was getting stressed out about about this about, like, all the shit that we have to do for this for all the events that were run. Yeah. And like, I'm so thankful for it. But it was just like, a little overwhelming. And yeah, I talked to john and went over it. But I didn't talk to john after. Because we we just figured things out. But I didn't. I didn't talk to him before I had this little freakout. And at some point, you know, one of the things that had been working through the past year, year and a half has been like, just like relationship or lack of relationship. And all of a sudden, I noticed that, that my like, I don't want sadness or frustration or like this weird like, you know, slight depression kind of deal. That was because of like, the stress that was this was causing or that I wasn't just thinking through and all of a sudden I was thinking about relationship, but I caught it. And I was like, way, way way like no, like, Don't even that's not even what this is all about. This is about like all this. All this events that we have to run, talk to john. And then it was like it's over. And then all of a sudden, I was like, go back to work and like whatever I was happy, like I called some people up went for a run and there was just like, but it was it could have been that easy to just kept kept going. Yep. And then all of a sudden, I was like, just like, yeah, whatever relationship thing story I was telling
Chris Marfheka 18:39
yeah. But yeah, but that that that's been a process, right of like journaling on a daily basis. And like catching that and even wanting to do that, right. Because there's another thing when I used to have like really bad depression, there was a point where it's like, I just want to feel worse. Yep.
Chris Marfheka 18:56
Like, yeah, that feels good to feel worse. So yeah, what happens is with our with every emotion, people either express it in a healthy way, or they're taught to, like, suppress it, push it down, or indulge in it, which is what you're talking about in the indulging process is also unhealthy. It's like, like you said, it's like you just go deeper into it. And it it's not actually useful at that point. You're not actually feeling it. You're just feeding your story. At that point. you're feeding the monster. Yeah. And you're in it, then. And that's the difference. Like with journaling. It's like you're looking at it, it's outside of yourself. You are the observer. But when you're in that depression, it feels like you're in it right? It feels like you You are depressed like you're in the called the ship pool. Yeah, you're in the ship pool. Where's your Where is?
And it's almost like quicksand. Yeah.
Chris Marfheka 19:51
Yeah. Whereas the work that I do, teaches people how to observe themselves. Like it would be as if you were watching yourself in the quicksand, falling deeper into the quicksand. And you're like, Oh, I'm slipping into quicksand. And you reach out, you grab yourself and you pull yourself out of that quicksand. So that's a process that people can learn when they're able to separate themselves from the fact that they believe that they're in quicksand. But they're really not. Yeah. And so it's, that's cool. Yeah, it's very cool. It's very cool.
Jon Mendoza 20:30
I mean, I think that's why we connected was because we see things. And you hear things and it resonates. And it shifts the mindset just so slightly to where it makes the biggest difference in the world. One of the things I love about Baldo working with him is that, you know, when kind of when he talks about his personal story. I've been through that on the other end. And the quote, he wants to water. Maybe I'm good, yeah, thanks. Nice. Yeah, this is live right there. When valda would always talk to me when I was, you know, mean, the one be the one to calm down. He would say like, you know, the answer is always there. And or he'd say, like, hey, think about it this way. You know, like, we can do this. And so when you shift your mindset, you rewire the way that your brain thinks, and 2030 years of trauma, even now, we know that trauma can be passed down from generation. And it's really different generations and decades of a mindset, and then battling what you're also being told about how you're supposed to feel. And I do feel that there's this kind of awakening with guys. Yeah. And I think that it's cool, because this Renaissance idea that if you really think about it, are guys as strong as they once were? For many different aspects of what it means to define a man or human. Yeah, right. That manly strength, what does that truly mean? I think what, what really resonated with me one time was I lift weights, right? And I go to the gym, he does yoga all the time. Right? Well, he can do handstands, and he has a lot of control with it. It's very powerful. And I looked down, I said, why I can't do that, like, I can't do that yet. You know, like, I'm have to practice that. And it was a different type of strength to get to. So after a while, when I was getting there, you know, like I say, he also helps me in so many things. He says, like, well, I asked him like, Well, how do you like, hold it when you're there? And how are you able to do like, all these other things with it? And he goes, it's really like how you breathe. I said, Well, how are you supposed to breathe while you're like, upside down? like trying to hold yourself? Right? And he's like, you should practice. So then I said, Okay, cool. So anyone ever heard like, you tell me something new. He tells me something new. The mindset means my mind can change in a split second, but the practice of the integration of it is what will make the biggest difference. Yeah. And I think that's not a side note. My personal experience with you for the listeners here. The reason we met that night, is that but Is that better? By the way on that side? Way better?
Chris Marfheka 23:08
Thank you. Nice.
Jon Mendoza 23:09
So the night we met, we had a we had about 50 people together to basically release whatever type of energy or heal what type of energy or address what type of energy that they were carrying with them. I think that's the best way to put it. Yeah, yeah. And there was a lot of different energies around each other, basically, trying to be there for one another hold space, Say what you will. Well, you held space for me. Baldo held space for me too. But the craziest thing is he was standing watching everything going on. That night, I had the biggest release I've ever had. And I say this in the best way possible. Because I was thinking about this on the way over here thinking about this podcast. And so you did some work on me. I guess your intuition said, I need to work on you. You just said that you came up because I asked you about it later. Yeah. And you're like, Yeah, I just need to work on you. I was like, that's cool. I was giving that out that whole night. Because Bala and I were talking on the way there were like, Okay, what is it that we want out of this? And I was like, Well, I know what I want. I want I want somebody to help me. Like that's what I want. I want somebody help me feel supported, supported, because I'm helping. We're helping so many people, you know, and I just like you know, I need I need a little something back I need to recharge you know, something like that. And and that's what happened. And so what was cool about it was the approach was not what you think the pep talk isn't going to be like, You're amazing, you're incredible, blah, blah, blah, right? It was something I've never experienced before. And what struck me about it was because I never experienced before I stepped out of my comfort zone, majorly. Now granted the 4050 people there, we knew most of them, but a lot of them we did it and at this point, late into the night. You know, you kind of don't even know who you're around at one point because it gets so dark outside. And so I remember we were by the fire and you were there while Joe was standing to my left. And you and some other person start talking and working on me. is incredible because I think the whole sequence lasts about 30 minutes. I want to say maybe. And when I tell people to this day, I yelled louder than I ever have in my entire life. I was about, I think, maybe four to six times, I can't remember when maybe three times I can write. But I remember the first time you got me to yell, like, really like, yeah, and like at the top of my lungs, to the point where I engaged my core, like, I could feel it. And for people who've ever yelled Think about this, it's an emotion that some people never release. Yeah. And if you harness that inside, from whatever you've carried on from what the world's giving you, why don't you release it? Right? Like the same thing? Like, why don't you cry, right? Why don't guys cry, they should cry more, you would feel better. So when you were telling me this, you weren't saying like, let it out? You were saying something else. And then at one point, I was reluctant, then you said, All right, now I'm gonna tell you now let it out. Let it out now. So I find it I yell as loud as I could. Right? And then I gave it a few seconds, and you're like, Come on, let's keep going. Just keep going. So I yelled, again, Mike, I see Baldo. But at this point, I My eyes are closed, I kind of just go into I let myself go. Because I did. I was I was holding back for a minute and I let myself go. I don't care how many people around me. I know we're outside. I don't care what the neighbors are saying or whatever. We're in a residential area. So it's not the countryside. And I think I got more at the top of the hill at the top of the hill. There's a top of the hill on the side of the hill into like a canyon.
No one else
was talking and I'm yelling in the middle of like, 50.
Like, is that a wolf? Well, the
Jon Mendoza 26:44
thing was, it was a lion. Because the whole reason I was yelling is because somehow you mentioned something that I interpreted as like I'm a lion. That's what I said. So I said, if I if anyone ever said what's your spirit animal? I've never ever made will answer that question. And so I was like, okay, that night, I was like, What if I am a lion? And then you said, Well, if you are proved to me, and you showed me that thing afterwards? Yep. And, and he said, prove to me You are? Yeah. Let me hear it. And he goes, What are you holding back on? And so I remember the very last year, ideally, like a few seconds before that, I was like I still, I still got it was a war. And the year a few times was reported by so I got a few more me Hold on. So I dug down. I like basically squatted down and I basically fell all this energy being charged from the center of my body. And I yelled the loudness of every hour of my life. The loudest you could ever imagine yourself yelling times 10. And I let every all the way down to my toes. I was yelling. And when that happened, something occurred where like these white lights basically came up from like my head and went up straight towards the sky. And I do remember like, like passing out for a split second. Like I fell back in either you or someone else caught me. And I came out of it like that. As soon as you brought me back up. Like it was like a days. Like I was like it was like the most vivid dream you've ever had in my life. And I was like I because I looked right at jaws. Wow. Did that just happened? That was that was real. Right? Tell me that was real. And you're like, yeah, that was real. And I was. I was like, whoa. And I started like, kind of piecing together your
Chris Marfheka 28:29
response. It was so perfect.
Jon Mendoza 28:33
And keep in mind, after I yell the loudness of every hour of my life around 50 people.
Chris Marfheka 28:38
Jon Mendoza 28:39
Everyone played it off. Like it was like, that was awesome. That was cool. I got to see that. Because I know there's about 10 people around me watching me like directly watching this sequence going on. Because I don't think
it was a supportive thing. One thing I love about what we have here and I think that that's how it should be as there's the community get gathers together. Yeah, almost cuz you feel that? And that's what you want it right, like you wanted support. And it was like it was you weren't gonna get it from just one person who was like
Chris Marfheka 29:03
everyone holding you.
Jon Mendoza 29:04
Yeah, what but the crazy thing is it's serendipitous, because we just held up was a picture of the lion you carry with you. And when we talked about it afterwards, this is how crazy it was. I was able to converse with you right after that. And I asked you all these questions, because I was already downloading information. Yeah. Right. And I was asking very specific questions, and you were answering me very specific answers. And a lot of it was like, Look, man, you're bringing this out on your own. I just knew that you needed it. Right. Like here's a couple things to take away from this, you know, and it was just so fascinating because you didn't even really it was it was just like your approach even was different than what I imagine you've been taught for most people as far as how to pull something out of Yeah, as far as emotion
Chris Marfheka 29:52
and you can say it I didn't do anything you didn't do anything that's
Have you seen the lion since then. Have I seen What the lions den like your spirit animal? Have you seen like drew? Oh,
Jon Mendoza 30:02
yeah. Oh, no, the thing is I don't. It's really interesting. So fast forward. And this is where I needed to catch up with you on. So I went to Colorado myself last month. I don't get to take vacations that often I really just don't. And, and I got to take one for a whole week he, him and his staff gifted me and I basically got to travel and hike. So the very like second of last day or something, maybe, maybe third day before I left, I was hiking up a glacier. It's the only glacier in Colorado, and they had a bunch of quartz. And so I went to the top I came back down and I was like pens awesome. And went to my wife and I'm going to give something to other people bought in the biggest one I found for my wife was a huge one. And so I had to carry it. And so when I was carrying I was coming down, I slipped and I dislocated my finger. Oh, so I saw this finger got go like this. Now it was bad. Yeah, it sounds like I get up and I don't panic or and he talks about respond not react, right. So I look at it like alright, cool. I'm trained for this. snap it back together. And it looks
Chris Marfheka 31:04
like I want to just grind
Jon Mendoza 31:07
all the way down. And everyone thinks I'm waving I'm because I'm elevating my handle.
I'm I'm really fine. I'm I still have a cord. Yeah. So I get down to the base of it. I tape it up and I go home to where I'm staying cleaned up. Anyway, the next day I went to Aspen. And I probably say I see the sunset in Aspen at the top of a mountain there. I rushed to get there like I really was rushing to make sunset I made I was rushing up the trail, got there, sat there and enjoyed it got back down. And I've had this energy building again, the same kind of energy that I felt that night that need to be released. And so as I was talking to myself, which I do, everyone should you should talk to yourself. Like, I think you're given your like your own coach, like anytime you can. As I was talking, I was like, what was the lesson here that you just had yesterday, you look at the way you respond to look at the way you're acting, you're paying your hands, I've been in pain, like there's no pain, there's no pain whatsoever with it. That's what was blowing my mind. And I was like, Okay, here's what I'm taking away from it. I'm so powerful, that if you break my finger, almost dislocate my thumb on the same hand, which happened years ago, you cut off this whole hand. You don't take away my power. Did I roar right then and there thinking about that? I might have I can't remember. But I did say is this I don't need her again. Because I said sometimes the lion doesn't need to, or just this presence alone oftentimes, basically gives the value to what is needed. And to me my role since then, has been that of a lion mentality that I am a leader of a pack. Yeah, he's a leader, you're a leader. And so you have your own role within that pack. When I tried
my my spirit animal is a dolphin. Beautiful. Awesome, beautiful. See that? Yeah, it is awesome.
Jon Mendoza 32:56
So why did you Why is it line with you?
Chris Marfheka 32:57
So I'll answer that in a second. The the power to get to the power thing, because this is one of the most important things that I think is missing in the development world in like, how our men are raised is what you just shared is that the lion, and really all of us, we don't need to project our power, projecting our power is is actually the unhealthy it's the wounded. And, and so that that comes out in in violence or like suppression of people and things like that. And we don't need to tell people we're powerful. What we need to do is we need to fully feel all of us, men, women included, everyone needs to feel the full capacity of what they're capable of, they need to feel all of the energetic power that's moving through them. So then they actually know what they're capable of. What what we're actually doing is we're not allowing people to release and feel that power, and we're just suppressing it down. So we're just building pressure in every single human being when we're telling them don't do this, don't do this, be be this be this and we're just packing it all down and what happens, it explodes. And depending on what you were taught, or what you witnessed as a child, it explodes in whatever way you learn to see if if my dad beat my mom, I would learn to beat women, period. That's how we learn things. And if I learned to, to, to be an alcoholic, from watching my parents, I would be an alcoholic. That is how we learn. And so when things explode out, that is when we get problems in the world when we get problems with families, problems in communities and violence and sexual abuse. And so, the what I believe in my experience is one of the easiest solutions is allowing people To feel all of the energy energy that's moving within the to feel all the power to feel all their capacity to let everything move, knowing that they're safe to do so knowing that no one's gonna judge them, they're in a safe place to do it like you were that night. And when you do you realize you're like, holy shit. Like, that's me. And then you can take a step forward in responsibility, and you're like, Okay, now I know what I'm truly capable of where I just got a taste of what I'm truly capable of. And now I could walk forward in life differently knowing that this is me, like this is within me.
Jon Mendoza 35:38
I will say that I know you have more to say on that. But I you saying that. And that night, had such a profound effect for me, because I'm still feeling the effects to this day. Yesterday, I was at the gym. I started crying when I first was warming up like ball and went to the corner. Like, emotion came over me and I've been this way all week long. But it's good emotion is good. cries good tears. I realize I'm leading the life I've always wanted.
Chris Marfheka 36:08
Jon Mendoza 36:10
I said it. I meant it. I felt it. I believed it. I cried. I just like Wow. I mean, for 10 minutes, probably I just like wow, like, wow, like I just kept saying that over and over again. What has changed since that night? Right? The idea is that I was looking for a voice and and what he always wanted for me with Baldo was one is for me to speak up louder. So that night, I spoke the loudest I could possibly do that. And I realized how much power I did possess. And since that night, I have not been afraid to ask for things. It's beautiful. And the thing about is I'm very strategic about my asks. I don't just go around asking for everything about you to anyone could people would not like that. And people know that I asked something for a reason. And I usually mean it because I don't really need to ask much from anyone to tell the truth. Because at this point, we're pretty self sustaining, which is awesome. That's why part of the life I live, but at the same time when you realize things like that, it's a progression that night was the start of it, right. But it was a continuation of things that I did in between that was allowing me to realize, man like I have the capability to integrate things and Chris pulled it out of me bulldoze tried to pull it on me forever. I'm trying to pull out everyone else I need to do the same. And so it's reciprocal, that energy that you released then is spread to someone else and say here, you can do the same exact thing because it happened to me. Yeah. I mean, like I say, a testament for I mean, that's why I'm such a fan, because I thank you. That was because no one had done that to me before that way. Like I said, that was something I've never ever felt before and probably will never feel that same experience ever again. Which that's that needs to stay there. Right? Yeah, it was a magical night, which I hope if anyone's listening or watching, get to experience something like that once in their life, come work with me. There you go. That's my, that's my plug for Yeah,
Chris Marfheka 37:59
no, seriously, seriously, it's, it's honestly what I'm here on this earth to do. And I realized that and what you just express is, is exactly my view of how this world shifts. And how we get to a place of love is that every one person, when we turn and we we only turn the mirror on ourselves, rather than pointing the fingers out and we look and see is like, Okay, what can I do? What can I do to heal? What can I do to improve to come come from my heart. And when you do that you show up in such a different way that people can ignore it. They notice it strangers notice it? Like, what are you on? Like, what is this energy that you're walking? Right? Oh, yeah. And that is that's what we call being the light is like you just walk around is this fucking strong, powerful light that just casting out in 360 degrees. And it shines on everything that you every room that you go into every person you interact with? And what happens is that what you don't even know, like you said, we're not doing anything. You're just being your authentic self. And people get a taste of that. And when they do, it's an inspiration for them. It gives them permission to go into it. And that's how we, I mean, that's how we shift the collective. That's how we raise the collective is one person at a time looking in on themselves and coming back to their heart. And I mean, you did it and you're continuing to do it. We're all doing it.
Jon Mendoza 39:30
We are doing it. Yeah, that's part of it is that we're all on this journey. Baldo alone. I mean, just to see the leaps and bounds that you've grown since we've just worked with each other and the people we meet and the conversations we have with the things we talk about now. Our vision for business professional, you know, personal is shifted because what's it feels like? We
don't even talk about this. Yeah, we just talked about how are we gonna create the new health insurance?
Yeah, it's up
And it doesn't feel like a far off thing is like, I think it's this easy. Yeah. And I think the problem is a lot of times with just business plans in general is that you try to complicate them. And yeah, and I do like the practice of like, look what can go wrong. So that way we make sure that those things don't go wrong. But like, sometimes you just get lost. And like, the thing is, we know this already, like, because we've done so many different businesses within this business, like the plans always change, right? So why why put so much business with 10 year plan?
Jon Mendoza 40:30
That's gonna work.
So like, the easiest way to start is the best way, because then at least the least you already got, you know, you already got two or three steps ahead.
Chris Marfheka 40:39
That Yeah, and that's what we always say is like, like, you're missing the obvious thing that's right in front of you. If you're always looking out to the future, if you're always going 10 years out, or five years out, it's like, oh, there's an obvious thing that's right in front of you, but your vision is focused elsewhere you go, and so like, like, be in the moment, so that you can see the infinite opportunities that are everywhere around you. And you just take the next logical step or the next Avi, I call it obvious because it's intuitive for me. Yeah. It's like this is obvious. And then once you're in that step, there's usually going to be another obvious step. Yeah. And then another.
Jon Mendoza 41:16
Yeah, same way approach. I love now kind of looking back on it after saying, like, people always ask how long you been doing this? You know, like you say, we've been doing this for years, all right, long enough to where we know a few things, right. So when you talk to someone who's just starting off, and there's a lot of especially this year transition, it's really cool. Because you see yourself in them. Yeah, for sure. And you kind of say, all right, you can know right away, because people would talk to us this way, at least to me, I don't know, I've talked to people. And I always lead with passion, because you'll always have a sincere response. You'll either they like you, or they won't. And if they do, they're gonna do everything for you. Because you lead with honesty, right? And that's what that's how we've always said, What's
funny, because you'll play the role of like, you'll inspire them, right? And then I play the roles like, Well, here's five options, pick one, but do one, you know,
Chris Marfheka 42:05
do what feels good. Yeah, like,
whenever like, it's not you around and they're talking to me about business, they start talking about like, but I need to get a business plan and get investors and then I need to go get this and obviously, and I'm just like, no, like I can make a post on Instagram right now your business started, right?
Chris Marfheka 42:25
let's start with the posts on Instagram on a daily basis. And you're like, that's already a business.
Chris Marfheka 42:31
I sell retreats, I don't have a website for them. I don't have anything I make one video, not even a post. So just be like, Hey, I'm doing this thing. And then like sold out. I'll invite a couple people and like, it doesn't need to be difficult. We're actually making it more difficult because we're believing the stories that people are telling us. Like, you got to do all these things, but it's bullshit.
Yeah. icing on the cake. makes things look prettier, right? Basically, yeah,
Jon Mendoza 42:54
yeah. But instead of looking at, right, like what you're saying right in front of you. Most people don't trust their own judgment and their intuition, right, they will hire out things, they know they're better at it. And the truth is a business you only hire out for people who are better at it than you. That's the truth. But you have to know that.
Chris Marfheka 43:13
So that right there, that's a really powerful point that you just brought up is that most of us, I'm going to talk I'm gonna speak to the US and in my experience, and my experience in working with a lot of people is that we're being conditioned to outsource our lives. We're being we're being conditioned to and the word conditioning seems strong, but it's the society we live in is like, oh, someone knows better than you, someone's an expert in this. And there's value to that there's value to getting people's opinions data to hearing. But what's happening is, is we're blindly trusting people with the most important things in our life, right? Our health, like people are outsourcing their health. And I'll come back to that with you guys. Since you guys are you're impacting so many people in that area. Our money like people are just basically handing their money to people and saying, Hey, dude, do the best with this and see what happens. Our decisions, like everyone is just outsourcing their life Facebook and yeah, Facebook. And so yeah, it's, it's crazy. And what happens is, is that someone will always fill that role, right? If someone comes to you, and they're like, I have no idea what to do with my health. You guys are gonna give them a great plan. You're like, hey, do this like this is what we can help you with like this will be supportive of you. And it will. The challenges is is that they may not come across people that are heart centered like you guys and like genuinely have their best interest. They may come to someone who just like, doesn't really know doesn't care doesn't whatever someone will fill the role for you. If you're saying hey, Take care of this for me. Like if someone has the belief like I need someone to take care of my health for me, guess what they're going to find they're going to find people that will take care of their health for them. And I say that in quotations. And so that person is going to do whatever they think is the right thing. And if they're taught, like, oh, for health, it's like, the answers this, if you go to a cardiologist, they only have like the heart. Like, if you go to this other specialist, they only have this focus. And they're always bringing it into their focus. And that's really useful. But what's missing is the personal accountability to filter that information and be like, yeah, that that makes sense. And I think there's something missing in what you're saying, I think there may be something more, I think that maybe I could do something before I go to like, cutting my spine open. And like having spinal surgery, maybe it'd be able to try this, like physical therapy or something. And so what's happening is, is that it's really useful to have experts that are the best in their field. But when we're trusting blindly, we are completely giving up the most fundamentally thing as conscious beings, which is our freedom and our sovereignty, we're just handing it away. And so the, the the work that I do is bringing people back to themselves, so they start trusting themselves. And it's not that, like, I don't listen to experts I do all the time. I just, I just know the ones I use discernment. But I also trust myself. And when when someone's saying something to me, I'm filtering it through, like, okay, I trust I know what's best for me. Like, that's where I come from. And like, that's a really interesting point. And like, I could see that. And people don't get to that trusting place, until they do their inner work to heal them. All the things that are in the way that have told them, they don't trust themselves. Like don't trust yourself, like you make bad decisions, you always screw it up, like whatever the language is for people to very common conditioning. And so allowing people to get back to that trust and realize, like, Oh, you actually do know what's best. And not just your ego mind, but your body. Like, the reason I, like I don't even say knew I attuned to what you needed and was present to it is because your energy, your body was telling you what was happening, the energy was rising, and you were just capping it off, energy was rising, and you're capping off. And so our body knows what to do to heal itself. It's telling us all the time, it's just we're not paying attention to it, or slapping things on that make it harder to hear or distracting it from it or distracting our attention
Jon Mendoza 47:43
into yourself. You tune out everything around you. You tend to have a better understanding of what your body is telling you. Yeah, most people who don't listen to their body, they don't even know when they're not pooping. They don't know when they're not sleeping better. They don't know the fact that they're not drinking enough water. They don't know the fact that they can't bend over and touch your toes. Like to be aware from those standpoints. Somebody
songs in there.
Jon Mendoza 48:06
I mean, all those things, that people forget the basic needs, you know, you don't need a whole lot in order to get healthy. I think that's what our message has become an evolved to more anything else. Like he says, like you already had it all, like I didn't do much, I just allowed you to remove the barriers. So you could do it yourself. Yeah. And that's kind of how we do it. Most people who come into the office, if they're needing energy. I'm like, Why are you so tired, man? Tell me why you said to object all the time, like, well, that's not good. You shouldn't be tired all the time. You know, and you drink how many cups of coffee and you do this? It's not enough.
Chris Marfheka 48:43
Well, I love that you do that because you give the tools that people need where they're at. And you also say like, and and also this isn't where like, you shouldn't just need five cups of coffee a day. No one needs five cups of coffee a day. Yeah. Unless there's a problem. There's a dysfunction somewhere. Yeah. And yeah,
Jon Mendoza 49:01
well, you can't be relying on just one thing. So I think like, I'm sure we'll talk about I mean, survival skills, even almost talking guys to the point where you're saying, Hey, man, like, this is what to do. And something of a big decision comes along your path. Look, you can't make a decision for them yourselves. And you need to make it but like, here's some possible ways to look at where you can make the best decision. Right? in business. And I think that's why you're so great at what you do, because people who sign up for your training are not people who have hit rock bottom. They might be but what if it's the CEO who's been driven his whole entire life or her entire life? It's still not fulfilled? Yeah, it still is broken up to marriages and, you know, still not just not enough for me by the material stuff. Not happy, right? I look at this. If you really want to look at energy, as everything is evolved, it's about vibration. That night, we were on sync Just from a vibrational wavelength standpoint, you can call it whatever you want. I don't care. You're another guy, I'll say exactly to you. Yeah, there's something that syncs with us. Yeah, that's what happened. And when you feel it, you understand what happens is it raises your frequency within you, which is the energy, you can measure energy within frequency. And when you raise your frequency or energy, you raise your level, raise your level of consciousness. And for this past week, if you put a number to it, David Hawkins likes to put zero to 1000 thousand being the highest level, he says, Jeff, like, I say, right now I'm hovering, I have to be 700. And above right now, this whole week has been 700. or above, which means my mindset is the sole purpose of mankind. Oh, that's what he says the betterment of mankind between 600 and 1000, is what you're focused on your entire time, you're in that frequency. So imagine if I'm on the ultimate radio station, I like what I'm hearing, I keep listening over and over and over again, I'm just building up the conversations, the thought patterns, the creativity, the downloads I'm having, I've never thought before in my life, and it's it's accumulative,
Chris Marfheka 51:04
you're just tuning into that frequency, it's always there. It's always
Jon Mendoza 51:07
there. It's always there. It's always there. And if you can touch into your higher frequency, this is what everyone's always mentioned, like you tune in, right? Download, what does it mean to tune in? Okay? If your foot is hurting, listen to the pain, feel the pain and your foot? What does it feel like? Is it a sharp pain? Is it adult pain? Is it an achy pain? Is it numbness? And then at that point said, What else? Do you noticed? Is it in your ankle? Is it in your leg? Is it in your knee? Right and just work your way up? And that's meditation? For most people? That's a physical assessment.
Chris Marfheka 51:42
Right? I it's the same Yeah, I
Jon Mendoza 51:45
have to assess you because you haven't figured it out. That's the doctors role should be on your own. I can provide you more things.
Chris Marfheka 51:54
But this is what I do. I teach people how to feel their bodies. It's just like, when you learn how to do that, and you practice it, like, a lot of the shit that people are buying into isn't even needed. Like you're like, Oh, I can just tune into that, like, Oh, that's this that Yeah. And so the everyone has the capacity to do what you just shared. Everyone has the capacity to attune to their own energy. And when you attune to your own then you can attune to other things around you. That's all you're doing is you're just matching the vibrational frequency. Like you said, it's beautiful. And right.
Jon Mendoza 52:32
Yeah, that's true.
Chris Marfheka 52:34
And so it starts with and, and I'm glad we're here, because this is a really good, like, takeaway for people. That that I always, that I always talk about is that when you are so consumed in your story, you can't see that you're in your story. You can't change your vibration, you can't download, I can't do any of that you're in it. And so the most effective thing that people can do for themselves, at any point at any time is to slow down just to breathe. Depending on how you call it wound up, you were when you took your first breath, it may take two breaths may take five may take 10 it my invitation is to continue slowing down until you get to the point of being centered in your heart. Because until you do that nothing matters of the way that you act, the way that you speak, the thoughts that are happening. None of that matters, because they're coming from an ego place. But as soon as you drop as soon as you slow the speed of your voice down. Soon as you slow the speed of your breath down and you come back to yourself. There's so much more presence, so much more awareness to what's happening. It's like if if everyone every time they get heated or triggered or whatever just did that. You have a lot healthier world. We'd have healthier relationships have healthier businesses. Because we'd really we'd realize that most of the way that we're treating others is just how we feel about ourselves. Feels good.
That's amazing. That's beautiful.
Jon Mendoza 55:02
Chris, how can they find you, man?
Chris Marfheka 55:04
Yeah, so the best place to find me right now is actually on Instagram. It's my full name Chris Marhefka. training camp for the soul calm is my company. And yeah, there you can find out how to work with me. See the programs that I'm offering, I do free support calls and events all the time. And I also do some really powerful live events as well. If you feel called to that I highly encourage you, you come experience. And maybe you'll have a roaring experience as well. We'll see. We'll give you the good dose. We'll give you the good.
Jon Mendoza 55:45
Chris Marfheka 55:46
And and yeah, what I what I also like to leave with is for people like yourself and for people where I absolutely was myself, is that if you feel stuck in any way, if you feel something that you need to feel something you need more of in your life, reach out to someone, whether it's me, or these guys, or your spouse or your partner. People want to support you. They do. The only thing that's being held back is you speaking up and asking for it. So if you're out there right now suffering in some way. Reach out, reach out from your heart when you when you when you say it from your heart, like hey, I'm hurting right now and I want some support. The right human will show up for
Jon Mendoza 56:37
you. People will listen. Yep. Thank you. This was awesome. Thank you. This
Chris Marfheka 56:43
was awesome. Thank you guys. Appreciate it.
"We don't need to project our power, projecting our power is is actually the unhealthy it's the wounded. And, and so that that comes out in in violence or like suppression of people and things like that. And we don't need to tell people we're powerful. What we need to do is we need to fully feel all of us, men, women included, everyone needs to feel the full capacity of what they're capable of, they need to feel all of the energetic power that's moving through them."
You can find the How do you Health? Podcast on Twitter @HDYHPodcast, and use #HDYHPod to submit speaker ideas, health questions, or topics you want discussed!
Shop MSW Nutrition products: www.mswnutrition.com
You can follow Chris on Instagram @ChrisMarhefka or visit his website: www.trainingcampforthesoul.com
Flabs to Fitness, Inc.
Hosts - Jonathan Mendoza, MSW Lounge; Baldomero Garza
Guest - Chris Marhefka
Podcast production - Andy Havranek [@ajhavranekphoto]
Guest coordinator - Baldo Garza
Intro song - Benjamin Banger